Most people know what scares them: spiders, clowns, dark and cramp spaces. But few know their Big Fears.
A Big Fear is like a shadow. It’s the backdrop to your daily thoughts and behaviors. It’s one that you might not be able to name because it sits so deep within you. It usually takes a bit of self work to know what it is.
Signs that a Big Fear is present:
- You react rather than choose
- You feel small with limited options
- You are stuck in a cycle
Big Fears are powerful because they are so buried. The good news is that when you do uncover them, you’ll gain better understanding (and control) of all aspects of your life. You’ll gain insight into your deeper hopes and yearnings, and maybe even learn to laugh at the incredulousness of the Big Fears.
How do you identify your Big Fears?
First, slow down. It’s hard to see what’s driving your patterns when you’re too busy being driven. Dedicate time to yourself. Get out of your routine and see things in new light. Professionals such as therapists and coaches can help you discover and face your fears. The process itself can feel scary so it doesn’t hurt to have support.
If you’d like to do some self discovery, you can also try this. Take a situation that causes you some anxiety. Maybe it’s public speaking, applying for a job, or asking for a raise. Then ask, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?”
Take the public speaking example, maybe the worst thing that can happen is that you’ll make a fool out of yourself, everyone will laugh, and you’ll be super embarrassed.
Okay, then with that, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?”
Maybe everyone will remember for the rest of eternity that you’re an incompetent, stuttering fool.
Okay, then with that, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?”
Maybe word will spread and you’ll never find a decent job prospect again. You’ll never be recognized for your talents and you’ll never have the opportunity to shine. One moment breaks your life.
Okay, then with that, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?”
Maybe you’ll never make a difference. Your existence is meaningless.
Oh hey, looks like you just really care and want to make a difference with your talents. Ta-da! Some valuable insight!
This might seem like an exaggeration but Big Fears have a way of making things a lot bigger than they are. It’s all happening so quickly and subconsciously that we often don’t realize. Any amount of awareness helps, so slow down and start noticing today!
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Beyond Maybe is a place of sharing ideas and experiences, often focusing on community and slowing down as ways to grow professionally and personally. Sometimes we connect over trying new things with Relocal Vancouver. To stay in the loop, sign up for the newsletter below.